ifuckinghateyou.com - your enemy's enemy is your friend.

posted September 10, 2007 11:57 AM PDT

We all live on a yellow submarine.

This is hard to properly explain without knowing a lot more details, but, here I go.

I have briefly mentioned my ex, Holly. And how crazy she is. But also that I do still love her, or convinced myself I love her. A few days ago we were hanging out like usual and talking about how much we do love each other but we dont work as a couple. But maybe in the future. We got to my place and kissed and held each other. Thats it.

Now, last night we were hanging out again. Her, my roommate and I went the bar then came home and started watching a movie. I got tired and went to bed. She stays the night on the couch all the time. Especially since she decided to be celibate and stop sleeping with me about 6 weeks ago. She just crashes on the couch rather than be at home. I set my alarm for 4am to help her make sure she got up for work on time. I get up to my roommate and her on the couch. They had made out.

She leaves crying, head down without a word.

Now my roommate had dated holly about 10 years ago. And somehow in his mind this justified it. Along with a string of other utter nonsense. Like he had no idea I still had feelings for her. He is my best friend, I tell him everything. I even told him point blank about a month ago that she is permanently off-limits. But he remembered the conversation differently.

So he, drunk and getting drunker, decides he should move out, sell all his stuff and live on the street. At first I say no. Then I begin to think its the best idea for him to leave. I tell him the reason is I dont trust him anymore. He storms off and tells me to sell his stuff or burn it or whatever. Leaving me with the idea he is planning on hurting himself. So an hour later  I end up calling him and convincing him its all ok and he should come home. He does. Its now 630 am.

Now, after a little sleep. I am thinking this isnt the first time. This is definitely not the first time he has betrayed me. But, like the optimistic fool I am I live and let live.

I want to tell him to leave. Consequences be damned. Live on the street, hurt yourself, give up music and art, whatever. I don't trust him anymore. I don't want to live with him.

I just want a little advice before I discuss it with him.

last updated September 10, 2007 12:11 PM PDT