ifuckinghateyou.com - your enemy's enemy is your friend.

posted June 4, 2010 3:02 PM PDT

AAAAAAG

The call began nicely, honestly. It was all "hey well looks like your insurance processed your claim after your son turned in the necessary paper work, you can shred our notice we're just waiting for the check."

Which is usually the end of the call. Cause that's good news. Your insurance is paying. You owe no money. Transaction completed. Yay insurance.

Then, he complains at length. "At length" meaning roughly 12 minutes. Not about us, but the insurance and how they took so long. I do the nice rep thing and apologize on their behalf. Except he won't have that.

He wants me to explain why the insurance is so terrible at what they do. I tell him to contact the insurance, get the customer service, and complain there. Nope. Doesn't want that. He still wants to hear me explain it.

So after tons of back and forth and my firmly repeating: "CALL YOUR INSURANCE, SIR." He lets up. He gets it. We're done with that.

So then he asks for a zero balance statement. This is no problem. We do this all the time. Hell, I love sending zero balance statements. It makes me happy because that's the end of the interaction with the patient. They're happy beause they don't owe us money. Win-Win.

I verify the address I have. Turns out its wrong. Easy enought to fix. Except, he flips the fuck out. He wants to know how he got the correspondence at his address when we have a totally different one. Dude. I can't explain that. Quite honestly, I'd love to be able to. It boggled me too. I told him I can't explain it, I'm sorry for the error, but I'd be more than happy to update it correctly for him.

This is when it all goes completely awry. He wants me to explain to me why the computer gave the wrong address. I have to keep explaining that I can't "talk to the computer" and we only work with what the people who handle the charts give us. But-I'd be more than happy to correct this for you with the right address.  He refuses to give me the address because he wants me to give a detailed explanation as to the inner workings of our computer system. He's yelling at me. I'm trying to explain. He's telling me I'm wrong, I'm telling him to listen to reason. He wants me to talk to the "computer people"*. I grow tired and ask if he's gonna give me the address or not. He refuses to do so until I explain why something like this happened.

JUST GIVE ME YOUR ADDRESS SO I CAN SHOW YOU THAT YOUR ACCOUNT IS AT A ZERO BALANCE DUDE.

I lost my shit when he wanted me to ask "the people who created the computer system" and accused me of failing at what is supposedly my organization.

I transferred him to my manager because he felt he needed to speak to someone "in charge". She later came to my desk with an exhausted expression.

Apparently, he went off on her about our computer system being too sophisticated, thus creating so many errors.

Dude. I'm running on IE, and working on AS400. Fuck you.

*The only "computer person" we have, is this really awkward super-stoner guy named Justin, who is a nice guy that we invite over every now and then.

last updated June 4, 2010 3:23 PM PDT