ifuckinghateyou.com - your enemy's enemy is your friend.

posted October 9, 2009 7:23 AM PDT

Irrational customer #973

This is a recent email exchange that I had with a customer. Product & Customer names have been changed to protect the idiot.

Subject:  Repair my DVR
Message:
Hi!
My faithful (upgraded by me) DVR finally 'bit the dust'. I am getting by with a replacement that I purchased on eBay. I would like to send the unit to you, but, I am old and don't understand your procedure. I would like to send the Unit to you but I don't know how. Please don't reply with 'see the intstructions' or 'follow directions' or some other time saver for you but just as confusing to me. A (yours) phone number would be nice!! Mine is ***-***-****.
Thank you!!
John Smith

Subject: RE:  Repair my DVR
John,

Our phone number is listed on the site, on the "About Us" & "Contact Us" pages. No matter, as the information I would give you on the phone would be the same as you will get in this email, plus I have the opportunity to provide you with direct links to the products and services you will need to order.

If your unit requires repair, then what we recommend you do is purchase a replacement drive at the same time.  We will install it in there for you while we're fixing the unit itself. The repair is a flat $99 and covers any problems that need to be fixed. The drives themselves start at an extra $99 for a 160GB drive (146 recording hours) and go up from there. We always recommend a new drive when having the unit repaired, because it will almost always last longer than an older drive that has already been in service for several years. Plus, it comes with a warranty.

To order the repair service specific to your unit, or to get more information, please go to this page:

http://_____________

As far as sending us the unit is concerned, if you no longer have the original box that your DVR came in, you can order shipping supplies from us. We sell a shipping box that comes with protective foam packaging materials, and a return shipping label. All you would need to do is follow the included instructions to properly package the unit in the box, affix the return label to the outside of the box, and then either schedule a free pickup with UPS or drop it off at a UPS store. If you order the repair service, you should automatically be asked if you would like to order the shipping box as well. But you can also order it directly from this page if you like:

http://_________________

And please let me know if you have any other questions. Thanks!
--
Scott

Subject: RE: RE:  Repair my DVR
Dear Scott:

Apparently you did not care to read my eMail so I will repeat me self.
1. I went on your web site and did not see the shipping materials. Please tell me how to order that from you.  That is why I wanted a phone call so I could both order and give you my credit card information over the phone.
2. I want the unit repaired, however, I am not sure but what the unit is broken, OR my hard drive. Please call me so we can chat about that.

I am a sincere customer but I DON'T trust giving my credit card information out to a machine. I DO trust giving it to a person who calls me.

Also I tried to print out some information but either your web site, or my computer is faulty because I could NOT print out from your site. Another reason for calling.

I appreciate your desire (my words) to automate the procedure and treat us (customers) like a machine, however, I am old and full of distrust for machines and still trust individuals. The bottom line PLEASE CALL!!

Thanks,
John
--------------------------------------------

So guess who's not getting a phone call from yours truly today? Everything about this customer screams high maintenance, and we do not make enough money on the repairs for this nonsense to be worth it. I told my boss that I'm not calling that asshole because his response was extremely rude. If he wants the business, he can call him himself. He said it wasn't worth wasting the time.

Honestly, if I got this guy on the phone, chances are near 100% that he would be difficult. And after basically just shitting on the time I took to make the effort to personally and thoroughly address his questions, I can't honestly say that I wouldn't lose my cool. Additionally, we have found in the past that people who insist on ordering products from a website over the phone may be trying to scam us.

As I told my boss, this guy can go fuck himself.

last updated October 9, 2009 7:41 AM PDT